Pressing On

My flesh and my heart my fail, but God is the strength of my heart 

and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26

I can do everything through Him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13

In life, things rarely come to us without a little hard work and sacrifice. If you want to be a great ball player, you must learn the rules and practice. If you want to be a great guitar player, you must learn to read music and practice. If you want to be a great teacher, you must learn special techniques for teaching others and practice. If you want to be a great golfer, you must learn the rules and practice. Basically, in order to accomplish our goals, we practice, probably make a few mistakes and press on never quitting.

I remember my initial excitement about learning to play the piano. My third grade mind was convinced that I was going to miraculously become the next Mozart overnight.  Little did I know that it would take more than showing up at Mrs. Sylvia Beard’s house (my piano teacher) each week to become what I had envisioned. It also didn’t take long before I realized that learning to play the piano was going to take a lot of work. My parents had to practically force me to practice but with the money they had invested, they were determined to make me follow through with what I had started and not give up. I had other plans. I would bang on the keys and scream about how much I hated playing the piano. I dreaded each time I had to go to Mrs. Beard’s house. She would say, “Celane, you must sit up straight and don’t rest your palms on the piano as you play.” She was a sweet lady, trying to teach me how to do something that I had already given up on. My parents were determined to not let me quit but my determination to quit eventually won. After a few recitals where I did learn to play Fur Elise (wasn’t an easy song to play), I was allowed to quit. Sadly, one of the things I regret is that I took lessons all those years and was actually a pretty good piano player; but because I gave up, I lost all that I had worked so hard to learn. Today, I can barely play Chopsticks. I attribute this to the many nights my daddy would come down after my crying and screaming to try and soothe things over as he often did when things seemed to fall apart at the seams.  We would sit together on the piano stool and play. It was a simple song but daddy had learned just enough to get me interested. It was the only part of learning to play the piano that I actually enjoyed.

Basically anything worth having is worth working for and I wanted to be a piano player but I didn’t want to put in the hard work that it was going to take. So I gave up. Today I experienced some feelings of just wanting to give up on some things in my life that I have worked so hard to get right. As my mind turned tonight with a few negative thoughts, I think that the good Lord was working on my heart to not get discouraged. For someone that can be pretty tough, I have a very tender heart (another trait I inherited from my daddy). So tonight, as I closed my eyes, I asked God to show me the words that I needed to read that would get me back on track. Words that would help me not give up. I spent some time working on my bible study in James (I have been doing with a few friends from work) but that was not giving me the peace I was hoping for. As I picked up my bible, it opened to Philippians. I immediately smiled. Philippians has some powerful words and it certainly didn’t take long to speak to me. You know the famous, “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice.” These might not mean anything if I didn’t know what trials Paul was going through as he wrote these words.

Paul was in a Roman prison. Not a prison that you might find in America. No, I would say America’s prisons are pure luxury compared to the conditions that Paul endured while in prison in Rome. Back in Paul’s day, there was a symbol for prison and it meant “house of darkness.” Paul’s prison was the kind that was dug underground. The prisoner and guards were lowered through a small hole. This was the only way in and out of the prison. There were no bathrooms, so you can imagine what it must have smelled like down there. The prison itself was basically 2 large rooms (separate levels) with iron shackles fixed to the walls. The lower level was dark and gloomy. The only lighting was by torches or oil lamps. I imagine it was also very cold as it is recorded that these types of cells were twelve feet underground. Guards were usually very mean and treated prisoners poorly because if a prisoner escaped, the guards were executed. If you tried to visit a prisoner, you were taking a huge risk of interrogation (guilty by association).

It was in this “house of darkness” that Paul wrote some of his most beautiful words, words that I so needed to read tonight, words that gave me encouragement and strength. Paul rejoiced. He was thankful. He put things in perspective when he must have felt scared and alone. Tonight I just need to put things into perspective. I needed to feel safe.

Paul having received a gift from the Philippian Church while in prison wrote a letter thanking them. He wanted to share his joy. Even as I type this, I am trying to understand how Paul could have had joy in the midst of his circumstance. Paul makes it clear that regardless of his circumstances, he has learned to be content. He also says that he has joy because he focused all his efforts on knowing Christ and obeying Him. “What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish that I may gain Christ and be found in him.”

I too consider everything rubbish in comparison to knowing Jesus. Nothing else in life can bring more joy. Because of Him, I can “press on” trying to be a better person in spite of circumstances that weigh heavily on my heart or cause me to stumble. Practice will never make me the perfect Christian but I can practice what Paul did and “press on towards the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” So giving up is just not an option. No, I will be content and wait for the Lord to “bring everything under His control”.