This post was something I tearfully wrote when we were headed to Gainesville for Peyton's ballgame on June 30th. The craziness of that weekend zapped my energy and I never got around to post it.
Lately, I've been thinking about the woman that God placed in my path that day. I like to believe it was God's divine intervention. So I decided to share my experience. I hope it speaks to your heart like it did mine.
You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. Genesis 50:50
When hard pressed, I cried to the Lord; he brought me into a spacious place. Psalm 118:7
Sometimes I need a wake up call. Not the kind that gives you a chance to hit snooze a few times or the kind that allows you to wake up slowly and adjust your eyes, yawn, and stretch. No, I need the kind that reminds me that I need an attitude/perspective adjustment and quick. That sorry Satan loves my "insensitive, impatient and judgmental" tendencies. He must sometimes think to himself, "You are such an easy target." While Satan's aim is apparently right on target a lot, God has equipped me with the armor to show him that I'm a fighter. He may knock me down; but I will get back up. I know with God on my side, the fight isn't over. There are still plenty of rounds to go with the evil one. There will come a day however, where God will send His son to gather His children and Satan will be bound in hell for eternity. That is the final round. Satan already knows he is a loser but he's determined to take us down with him.
Paul's amazing words in Ephesians says to "be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes." This is the hope that I need on days like this that seem to rob me of my sanity.
The bible says whatever Satan intends for evil, God will always turn it into a blessing. We may never realize how many times God intervenes on our behalf; but I am a firm believer that it happens infinitely throughout our lives. Today was proof that God will never give Satan the final word. It was also a reminder that we are blessed regardless of our circumstances.
Peyton's baseball All Star tournament has been going on this week. Practicing for hours each night finally ended this past Friday and yesterday was the first game of the All Star Championships. The boys were so excited and had great hope that they would defeat the Newton County team they were scheduled to face in Gainesville. After an extremely long, hot and exhausting day...we left being defeated by an amazing team from Newton County. Wow! They were some amazing ball players.
Since we lost out first game, we were moved to the loser's bracket. This meant we played again... today...Sunday...Church Day! We decided to go ahead to church even though it meant we couldn't stay the whole time. It is very important to be in church each week, together as a family for several reasons. It gives us an opportunity to set a good example for our children that nothing takes center stage before God. Not to mention that we have an amazing freedom that allows us to freely worship God in the open (a right that so many do not have). Plus Peyton and I both have things that we have committed to doing each week and it is important that we fulfill our responsibilities.
So we all struggled to get out of bed this morning. I think I had to yell at Hunter (down the hall) to get up atleast 10 times and it came down to me having to go into his room and stomp my foot (LOL) to get him up. Peyton went ahead and put his uniform on so that we could leave straight from church and head towards Gainesville for day #2. Steve had on his "coaching" attire and I grabbed the first thing that wasn't winkled. As we got into the car...it seemed every move we made, nothing was going the way we had planned. We rushed to church while having a few ridiculous arguments on Peyton forgetting to put on deodorant and Hunter not shaving after being told several times. Let's face it...we were tired and ill as hornets.
Finally, we get to church and I immediately felt a sense of relief. I love Ray's Church and all the people that fill the pews each week. While I want to crawl up on the pew and take a nap, Peyton, Paul (church friend) and I get busy hooking up the equipment for singing. I took a deep breath and a calmness overwhelms my otherwise tired body. Not a second later, I feel a sense of dread for the long day that is ahead of us.
As the preacher begins to discuss Joseph and his coat of many colors (or should I say many coats of adversity), Peyton leans over and whispers he forgot some of his baseball uniform. Steve forgot his tennis shoes and I forgot my cell phone. Steve lets out a sigh of frustration. I notice Mrs. Connie's watch on the back of the pew in front of me...it's already 10:30. Sadly, we had to slip out as quietly as we could. Flying our the door, I immediately started thinking about all the people I didn't get to hug and say goodbye to. Hopefully they don't over analyze things like I seem to do and know that I didn't intentionally not acknowledge them as I slipped out. I can explain later if I need to.
A few more arguments headed home to retrieve the missing items needed to make it through this day, I was in a bad mood and just like that...I had convinced myself that this was not going to be a fun day and my attitude towards everyone went from bad to worse. Here I was...with a chip on my shoulder and determined to make everyone pay for my lack of sleep instead of trying to enjoy this amazing experience with Peyton.
Once on the road towards Gainesville, we decide to stop and grab a cheeseburger at McDonalds. I was less than thrilled to eat McDonalds, much less in the car because Steve said we didn't have time to go in and sit down to eat. Im my head, I was thinking some very negative things but I did keep them to myself despite my less than pleasant demeanor.
When Steve brings the food to the car, we double check it and realize Peyton's double cheeseburger is missing the cheese. Steve goes back inside to get it fixed. A few minutes later, Hunter realizes that his chicken sandwich has lettuce and mayo, which he will never eat. Angry, frustrated, tired, and just plain fed up with the world...I get his sandwich, slam the car door and march inside to to let McDonald's know that they screwed up.
Here is where my day, or should I say "our" day took an amazing turn...
Steve and the cashier, Tamara had already realized that they knew each other from high school. As I walk up, Tamara is saying that she had just recently moved back home to her mom's house (which happens to be in my in-law's neighborhood). What Tamara says next brought me back down to reality and taught me just how quickly life can sweep you off your feet and knock the breath out of you. "My 15 year old son was killed in a pellet gun accident last July 4th. After having a difficult time emotionally and financially, I felt it was best to move home so my mom could help me get on my feet".
And just like that...the air I was breathing seemed to disinigrate. Standing at the counter waiting impatiently for the right cheeseburger and chicken sandwich, I was no longer concerned about the food. Tears filled my eyes as I listened to her bravely tell us aboutthe accident that took her precious child's life too soon. Tamara's son was shooting a pellet rifle with his cousin. They had cocked it too many times and when it went off, it shot her son in the temple. The doctors had to remove part of his brain in hopes of saving his life and when all efforts were unsuccessful, he died.
His mom decided to donate her child's organs in hopes of saving someone else's life. Today a 60 year old man lives with the heart of this precious child that left this world way too soon. All I could do was cry. I told her that I would pray for her and never forget the strength it must have taken her to endure that kind of loss and then be able to share her story with others. As we all stand in silence trying to digest the sadness of what had happened nearly one year earlier, Steve says to her, "I feel like crying too, it's time to go."
As I walked out of McDonalds and all the way to Gainesville, tears continues to fall as I tried desperately to understand why things happen this way. I was comforted in the quietness of the boys in the car who no longer had a need to complain, Steve's sudden calm and soothing temperament and my uncontrollable tears as I reminded myself (only I was saying it out loud) that I am blessed and that my problems are so insignificant compared to what this mom was going through. To think that she will never hold her child or hear his voice was a pain that just brings you to your knees. It brought me to mine (hypothetically speaking).
While I may never understand why this young child (so close to the ages of my own) was taken from his mom so soon; I do understand that God WILL offers comfort for her in these times...He is forever faithful!
May we all stop and focus on our blessings instead of focusing on our problems. Life is way too short to let the little things prevent us from being the person God intended us to be. Bless you Tamara, your strength and resolve touched me and my family and we are praying for you.
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