Clarity and Direction

Blogging, ugh! I haven't had the desire or the energy. My words aren't matching up with my usual confident, optimistic and joyful nature. I'm determined to change that...slowly.

I was listening to Steve tell me what had happened earlier that day. I was so busy trying to focus on what he was saying that I didn't even realize that something terrible had happened until it was too late. I became angry. Not at him, but at someone else and the situation that continues to wreak havoc on me and my family. My mind had given way to the destructive nature of the situation and I wanted revenge. I wanted to place blame. I was fed up and I had said things I couldn't take back. Sadly, I didn't want to.

Then I sat in silence for a long time, trying to figure out what to do. Tonight, there is clarity. I have a sense of direction. While discouraged and broken hearted I am accepting what I cannot change. I am no longer going to give into the guilt and sadness. I'm going to live my life in spite of the darkness that looms overhead. I'm going to let God do what he wants with me and this situation. It's not my fight; but it is my heart.

Eight weeks ago, something happened that changed my life. I have counted the days, hours, and sometimes minutes since things haven't been the same. Even worse, I can't fix it. I am powerless. So I cry. Then I get mad. Then I vent to Steve with little regard to how it must feel to be on the receiving end of my tirade. When I'm finished with my temper tantrum, guilt sets in and I feel like a lousy, selfish and bitter person. That's just what this valley has done to me. Correction, that's is just what I have allowed this valley to do to me. I have not been able to put into action the words of my favorite book of the bible written by James. I'm just not finding the joy that I need in this testing of my faith. So there is no perseverance. There is no wisdom. There is only heart break and loss.

I've been praying for God to just tell me what to do. Since I can't fix things, I've been expecting Him to take care of things and quickly. I admit that maybe I've even thought to myself, "Really? I'm still waiting!" God must be shaking his head at my demands. He must be thinking that I'm missing the answers that are clearly in front of me.

Lets face it, I can be the best judge this world has ever seen. I have a need to kick butt and take names when someone hurts me, my family or does something that goes against my own person belief system. I can come to a conclusion about others actions faster than they can finish telling me what they did. It's much easier for me to think of someone else's problems than to accept my own. The conversations I might have with someone else can be nothing short of the "pot calling the kettle black." Yet I am amazingly skilled at making someone else's faults seem so much worse than my own. Bottom line, I am human and without keeping myself I check, I can become a person with little character.

So for 8 weeks, I have been the jury and the judge concerning this change in my life. You better believe I have felt some pretty serious emotions. What I have experienced has not only made me question my ability to remain calm and in control, it has caused me to lash out at the people that I love the most.

Since I am not letting God be in total control, I am behaving like a child who lacks self control. Even worse, my situation has yet to change. No progress has been made. Things have just stalled. My prayers have been difficult and quick. Then I question why I'm not hearing from God. It is a cycle that continues. Let me rephrase that...it is nothing short of stupidity that is allowing this cycle to continue. Until this very moment! Yes, this is a defining moment when I am determined to change my destructive thought process and actions. It won't be easy. I'm an easy target right now for the enemy's schemes but I am a well equipped soldier in the army of The Lord.

For the record, if I were to speak of the situation that I am going through right now, I am confident that most people would be just as angry and just as devastated. After all, it involves one of my most blessed treasures and I need to protect this treasure from harm, but my way isn't working anymore. The game plan has to change.

As I read my nightly devotion, the blinders came off. It made perfect sense. No longer did I feel like I was lost in the wilderness unable to see my way through. It made me think of Paul. Initially a roman soldier and Christian killer, Paul was blinded by a light from heaven on the road to Damascus. I find it fascinating that, Paul (known as Saul of Tarsus at the time) was in the business of killing Christians and he responds to his sudden blindness by saying, "Who are you, Lord?" I would like to think that The Lord said, "No duh you idiot!" but I know better. For three days, Paul could not see. He didn't eat or drink. He was powerless. The Lord had plans for Paul and it included his suffering. Ananias was sent to where Paul was so that he could see again. When Ananias placed his hands on Paul, the bible says, "something like scales fell from his eyes and he could see again". Here was this vicious, evil, murdering Roman soldier changed in an instant, all because it was God's plan.

So I started thinking about my horrible situation. I could continue to do these things...

1. Take my sadness and frustration out on my loved ones.
2. Lash out in anger.
3. Cry, worry and let it consume me.
4. Keep trying to control the outcome

OR

I can trust in The Lord with ALL my heart and lean NOT on my understanding (Proverbs 3:5).

I've been so blind that I have missed the very blessings that surround me through this trial in my life. As a result, I have been unable to value the amazing faith, strength and support from the ONLY man (Steve) that matters to me. I have refused to acknowledge that my ways are not God's ways. Sadly, I haven't been able to appreciate the amazing power of praying "together" with my husband. These moments have been true blessings that have resulted from the difficult circumstances that "we" have been facing. I have not allowed myself to accept change in my life despite the fact that God has something better in the works.

My self-serving attitude has prevented me from drawing closer to God and my loved ones. Thankfully, God has a few encouraging words to say about the troubles we cause/face. These encouraging words will help me make some positive changes towards being the christian/wife/mom/daughter/sister/
friend that God created me to be.

The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Proverbs 34:18

Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense. Proverbs 19:11

Have patience, God isn't finished yet. Philippians 1:6

In weakness and pain, the power of the living God is upon me. 1 Corinthians 12:9

Weeping may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning. Psalm 30:5

Third Grade Common Core Workbook

Third Grade Common Core Workbook-

 If you teach Third Grade, this is a must have!

This Third Grade Common Core Workbook is the largest collection of resources for teaching the Common Core State Standards. This workbook includes over 840 pages of Worksheets, Activity Centers, and Posters that teach all the Third Grade English Language Arts Common Core Standards and all the Third Grade Mathematics Common Core Standards! IT IS AMAZING and well worth every penny! Check it out at the this website (Click CTRL and click):  Third Grade Common Core Workbook


This is the Table of Contents:

Third Grade English Language Arts Standards

Reading: Literature
Reading: Informational Text
Reading: Foundational Skills
Writing
Speaking and Listening
Language

Third Grade Math Standards
Operations and Algebraic Thinking
Number and Operations in Base Ten
Number and Operations – Fractions
Measurement and Data
Geometry

Hello Fire, I'm Rock!

Lead me to the rock that is higher than I. Psalm 61:2

If you have children, this post is dedicated to you. To those of us that are unsure of the futures that await our babies, we have no control. But we do not need to worry, God has it all taken care of and He knows what tomorrow will bring. Still as moms, we naturally question what the future holds for our little ones. Who will they become? Will they be successful? What kind of life does God have in store for them? How will I adjust to the changes that are inevitable when they grow up and begin a life of their own? 

These questions can keep a mom up at night, bring tears at the most ridiculous times, and manifest themselves in frustration and anger. Yes, I am not always the best at filtering my words when I am worried that something isn’t right. Having boys has been an eye opening experience as I have had to endure a few moments of sadness as they begin pulling away from me...slowly, but nonetheless too soon. 

Hunter was always the “chosen” one and being the first born gave him the entitlement that all “grand” children receive. Hunter was a ball of energy the moment he entered this world. God molded and shaped him into the strong-willed but very loving and gentle child that I would hold in my arms for hours, unwilling to face the reality that “this too shall pass.” How could I have known that it would be so hard let go? After all, he was going to marry me when he grew up and move across the street from us. He used to get so angry if Steve would try and show me affection, because I was his mommy and he was unwilling to share. The love he had for me was just what I needed and I could think of nothing else but the joy he brought to my life. 

As a little one, he never took naps, rarely followed my simple directions, and always questioned everything. It seems I was always aggravated with him even if it was just for being inquisitive and smart. Boys will be boys and he was certainly all boy from head to toe. Little ones are not supposed to be so grown up, but he was. At three, it was like talking to a ten year old. I felt a sense of security just being in his presence. He was a mighty force in a small body. No matter what mischievous behavior he would get himself into (like using the last roll of toilet paper to become a mummy), his funny sense of humor and sweet voice always won in the end. If he wanted something, he knew just how to melt my heart (now I call it manipulation) so that I would give in. We spent hours watching The Wizard of Oz, Little Rascals and Barney (over and over). We allowed him to be the little “grown-up” that he wanted to be. Yet, I am struggling to let him be the grown-up I know he needs to be. The struggle is mine because I am not ready for this. He pulls away and I push him away with my constant questioning and meddling in his private life. Clearly I am not winning this tug of war. My good intentions are creating a distance between us that I guess happens with all teenagers and their moms. I am a work in progress trying to embrace such difficult changes. It isn’t easy.

 I try to playback the memories of now and then...to capture a small glimpse of the baby I carried for nine months and with whom I held close to my heart. Now all I get is an aggravated response, argument, or rolling eyes and if I am lucky I may hear, “I love you” when he wants something. Oh yes, these are the days. Oh how I wish I could pull out Pandora's box so I could relive those precious moments again and again. When they are small, the little frustrations have to do with the messes they make or the temper tantrum they perform in Target, or the struggle to get them to wear the clothes we want them to wear. Raising children was never meant for the weak or for those who do not follow God’s instruction. We are reminded in Proverbs to “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” 

This morning as the boys were getting ready for school, the human in me became frustrated with the little things that really do not matter. Still it rubbed my impatient and “I’m your mom” mentality to the point where I became the mom Hunter does not enjoy. Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians to “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ. Now I commend you because you remember me in everything and maintain the traditions even as I delivered them to you. But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.”  

When things line up with God’s will, then you can be assured that everything is going to be okay. So when I didn’t listen to Steve’s good advice on how to handle Hunter this morning, I was trying to place myself in a position that was never meant for me to be in. I wonder how much different I would have handled things and felt if I had taken his advice. 

Our conversation went something like this...

“Hunter, who is calling you this early in the morning?”

“Just a friend mom, don’t worry about it.”

“I am worried about it because I am trying to figure out why you are on the phone when you should be getting ready for school. And just how are you planning to get to school this morning anyway?” 

“Mom, I got it taken care of. Nothing is going on. Stop, please.”

“Don’t tell me to stop, I am your mom and I have a right to ask you questions when I think something is not right. I want to make sure you have a way to school.”

And with a rolling of the eyes and a harsh “goodbye” Hunter is out the door. I’m upset because I feel disrespected. He is upset because I am constantly bothering him and he wants his space so he can be allowed to grow up. I’m trying to slow down this process and he is trying to speed it up. In his mind, he’s probably thinking what I was at 17, “I can’t wait to be out of this house so I can make my own decisions and not have my mom questioning my every move!” This is the dreaded “payback” that we all face when we have children of our own. 

And then I feel like crying but try to hold it back. Then my sadness turns into anger. I’m frustrated, confused, and just plain tired of dealing with teenage drama.

I know I am ready to fall apart. So I stop to reflect on how I handled things, shed some unwanted tears that turns into buckets. Then, my healer shows up. I feel God’s presence. His quick advice gives me wisdom and healing. In a voice that is able to calm the strongest storm, God says, “Hello fire, I’m rock!”  

The floodgates open and I cry. I cry because I immediately understand. I cry because I am sad. I cry but I know that God is my rock and my salvation. It is He that gives me a solid foundation to stand on in the midst of struggle. He is my refuge and my strength. He can raise me up...high above the circumstances I face. He can calm storms of unimaginable magnitudes and at the same put out the fires that I seem to start a lot lately especially with Hunter...if I will ask Him for help.

God is my rock because He is the foundation of everything. He is unmovable and unbreakable. Satan attacks me where he thinks he can win. Where else but my children? Yet I know how this all is going to end...my faith and dependence on God will defeat Satan. When I am struggling and storms are raging in my life...God will be where I seek shelter and immediate protection from my enemies (aka Satan). Whatever schemes that Satan throws my way, I may start the fire; but God will put it out if I will seek Him and at the same time remember, I too was 17 and what a difficult time it can be when you are trying to get a grip on this crazy world and gain a little independence. 

So another day in the life of a mom who is struggling to find peace in the midst of a storm that will be raging for some time (aka kids growing up), I know God is in control and I need to work on not starting fires that can create unnecessary worries. 

So next time, I am faced with a difficult “teenage boy” situation that I am sure will happen before this day ends...I pray that I can remember the introduction that God and I shared this morning. I already knew Him as my Lord and Savior; but sometimes we all need to be reminded of who “we” are so we can reflect on our actions that may be driving wedges between those we love. I do not want to be the “fire” raging in my son’s life but rather a loving mom who accepts Hunter just as he is without trying to change him. I am sure it will not be the last time that God has to remind me that He is who He says He is...my ROCK!

Lord, Prepare ME!

May your father and mother be glad; may she who gave you birth rejoice! Proverbs 23:25

My son, give me your heart and let your eyes keep my ways. Proverbs 23:26

 

I rarely have the chance to be home in the mornings when my boys are getting ready for school. Teaching in a different county means having a different schedule. I'm out the door as I wake the boys up to get ready. Let me just say for the record that I am not all that excited to stick around while a 17 and 12 year old get ready for school. They are grumpy and have very few kind words to say. TEENAGE BOYS!

 

One thing I miss dearly about my boys being little is in the morning. Steve and I would argue (jokingly) over who would get to wake them up. Nothing is more precious than seeing a baby sleeping. I used to sit and watch them sleep and listen to the sounds of their breathing. Those days are gone; but the memories are endless. They are just so precious when they are in the comfort of their beds, safe and secure. 

Lucky for me (although I didn't always feel so lucky), Steve was never home in the mornings when it was time to get the boys up. He would leave before 5am and I was left to get myself and two rambunctious boys ready for school. While it seemed like hard work, I look back and cherish those small moments. I used to sing as I would go into their rooms, "Good morning, good morning today is a happy day today!" I would smile as big as I could (even when I wasn't feel well) as I saw their eyes blink open. I always wanted to send them off to school happy, even if I was not happy with the little moments of irritation along the way. Boys can be a lot of fun; but they can also try your patience and they constantly keep you on your toes.

This morning as I enjoy my fall break (despite a small cold), I decide to get up and witness their morning routine that I so long to be a part of, again. I crawl up in my recliner and a blanket and attempt to be a fly on the wall. Amazingly enough, these "grown" babies can get ready for school without my help. As disheartning as it is for me to see them growing up, it is a moment of thankfulness that they can do for themselves. Hunter, reluctantly took care of the animals, ate breakfast and managed to have a short conversation with his girlfriend. Peyton, although his shower took well over 25 minutes was able to dress, eat a bowl of cereal and brush his teeth.

There was even a few minutes that we were able to sit and talk together...a rare occasion indeed. This morning as Peyton and I were talking about random things, he brought up a "non-negotiable" topic. For the past 5 or so years, he has had the opportunity to go to church camp with a close friend and her family. Many of the children that attend, I have taught or they go to the school where I teach. He says these have been the best days of his life and each time he comes home, his faith is even stronger. I believe that God has some mighty work in store for him. Peyton has a gift. He has a close relationship with God. He is not ashamed to share his faith with others and I have heard him speak to Hunter on occasion with wisdom that kids his age do not have. He knows scripture and he understands it. He enjoys reading his bible, praying and talking about what he has read. Sometimes we will sit down and read together and the next thing you know we have spent two hours just talking about what we read. He has taught me so much about faith and looking to God for direction. More moments that I will cherish as he grows older. I pray so often that God will use Peyton's ability to somehow touch the lives of the kids he goes to school with that may not know how amazing God is.

So back to camp. This past summer was the last time he would be able to attend camp with my friend and her family. Knowing this family and trusting them 100% has allowed me to willingly let him go in the past. Now he wants to attend the church camp in Kentucky with the same kids; but without my friend and her family. A few weeks back the subject came up and I was quick to fire back, "NO...this is non-negotiable!" He was very upset but he didn't push the subject further...until this morning. As we talked, he began to share with me that he wanted to be a part of the "Fellowship of Christian Athletes" club next year. I was certainly happy to hear that from him. He continued to tell me that he had an interest in missions and outreach but not the ones that are near home, the ones that might carry him out of the close comfort of his parents. A little uneasy about the idea, I allowed him to continue. Then he dropped the bomb again. "Mom, I really wish you would consider letting me go to that christian camp in Kentucky this summer. I really feel led to go and I know a lot of the kids going. I just think if you would talk to Mr. Lester and Mrs. Charlene, they will ease your mind about it."

I really didn't know what to say as my first instinct is to say NO, NO, NO but instead, I assured him that I would pray about it and we would consider the possibility. He was nothing short of thrilled. Then as Peyton's bus pulled up, he quickly grabs his bookbag and rushes to the door. I look at him funny as if to telepathically let him know "I need you! I need a hug." He must know me too well because he took a slight irritated huff and came back to hug and kiss me bye. Peyton is such a loving and affectionate kid but at 12, he is starting to pull away. He is enjoying his friends and the things that teenagers enjoy instead of being right with me and Steve all the time.

I have often prayed about Peyton and his future as I have sensed God working in his life over the years. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11). For several years, we have been an avid supporter of The Voice of the Martyrs non-profit organization. So years ago, a seed was planted in Peyton to pray for those imprisoned for their faith in Jesus Christ. "Remember them that are in bonds, as bound with them; and them which suffer adversity, as being yourselves also in the body" (Hebrews 13:3). If you haven't read the book, Tortured for Christ by Richard Wurmbrand, the founder of Voice of the Martyrs, then I encourage you to go to  www.persecution.com  and request your free copy. It will change your life immediately. In fact, you will probably think I am crazy for even allowing Peyton to let his mind focus on a possible future in missionary work. Above Peyton's bed is the picture below which is one of the posters that VOM sells and prints on the maps of persecuted nations that they send out periodically in their free magazine. There is also a website/magazine called, Kids of Courage that shows how christians in persecuted nations have stood firm in spite of unbelivable circumstances. I am proud of Peyton for being willing to even consider following such a path.

 I am a bit scared about the possibilities that he may want to get involved in things that take him away from me. Yet something has been tugging at my heart to let him choose his path. Whether that means a life in missionary efforts or something deeper, God has a plan and whether I like it or not, "Thy will" is non-negotiable. God called Jeremiah to ministry at an early age. Yet Jeremiah claimed he was only a youth and was afraid. God told him, "Do not say, `I am only a youth'; You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be not afraid of them, for I am with you and will deliver you." It seems that Peyton is sure of what he wants to do for now, I am the one that is afraid.

I do not like the stories I read (even though they are amazing) about the dangers involved in missionary work, the kind he is speaking about; but I can find comfort in God's word. In Mark, Jesus tells the disciples to go into ALL the world and preach the good news to ALL creation. All I can do is pray I will have the strength to nurture whatever desires Peyton has and that it will be pleasing to God. The call to serve God is a calling to a position of special honor and as we spoke this morning about the people in our family that God has called to serve him, we realized the only honorary member of the family left in ministry is my brother, Bill who has also been very much involved with world missionary work. Yes, I have an aunt, uncle, Nanny and mom who are deeply devoted to God and lead in music ministry and other areas within the church; but that is not an area that seems to be speaking to Peyton. He wants to know more about missionary work outside of his home and his church. The good Lord only knows what the future holds for Peyton, but whatever it is, I am confident that Peyton will be a world changer through the power of God. “A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.” Proverbs 16:9

Im not all that sure how I will handle some of the things Peyton brought to my attention this morning; but I have been ignorning what I now KNOW was God's quiet voice telling me to encourage his desires even if they do not fit in with what I may think he should do. I guess the good Lord knows how this will end and until he reveals it to Peyton, I will keep praying and try my best to guide him in the right direction. Seeing him grow up is a difficult time; but I will happily embrace every tear as I consider myself blessed to have had the opportunity to see him grow up in front of my eyes loving God. A rare gift that so many deserving mom's will not experience.

So I end with the first verse of a powerful song written from Isaiah 6:8. Our preacher's wife sings at church and she sings it beautifully. I have often dismissed the powerful emotion and cold chills that overcome my body as I hear her sing this song. I wonder if it has been just one more nudge for Peyton to hear a calling on his life or for me to relinquish my tight hold on him. Only time will tell. He is certainly not meant for just an ordinary life.  “Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then said I, Here am I; send me.” Isaiah 6:8  

Here I Am, Lord
 I, the Lord of sea and sky,
I have heard my people cry.
All who dwell in darkness now
My hand will save.

I who make the stars of night,
I will make their darkness bright.
Who will bear my light to them?
Whom shall I send?

 Here I am, Lord. It is I Lord.
I have heard you calling in the night.
I will go, Lord, where you lead me.

He is All I Need

I can only imagine the scene of angels surrounding my Nanny, mom and Aunt Elaine as they sang my Papa to heaven. It must have been so beautiful because my Papa willingly released his hold on his earthly family for his eternal Father in heaven. Had he not faithfully served God every day of his life including the difficult ones, he may not have been so certain of where he would go when he took his last breath. Those of us who knew him, were well aware of what was waiting for him. Papa knew God was all he ever needed and that is the legacy my Papa left behind.

The painstaking reality of losing a loved one is almost too much to bare if you do not know that God is All any of us need in this life.

Our family knew it would happen, yet you are never quite ready to face the reality of someone you love being gone. It was the dreaded news we received a few weeks ago when Papa was told that the doctors could not heal him. This brave and godly man once said, 'I'm a winner either way!' when given the devastating news that he had cancer. That was a little over two years ago. This time, as my Papa bravely faced the inevitable, he fought as hard as he could to stay with us. His work on earth was done on, Wednesday, October 3, 2012 at 11:45 am. There must have been one heck of a celebration in heaven as we mourned our loss on earth.

I am so thankful for having been given the opportunity to spend time with Papa in his last days, because death can sneak up so fast that many people do not have a chance to say goodbye. I am thankful that he suffered little pain considering what he had been through.

Today as I look back on blessed memories of an amazing grandfather, I am reminded of scripture that brings me comfort. Comfort that I will need in the days and weeks ahead when the shock wears off and I feel the pain of what has just happened.


1. God is close to the broken hearted and crushed in spirit.
 
2. God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.

3. To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord.

4. There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens;
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,  
a time to search and a time to give up, 
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
 
Thank you Lord, for my family and friends. The blessings are endless even in spite of the sadness that we face. I will miss Papa's smile and hearing him call me 'CC' as he did my entire life. Most of all I will miss seeing him beside my Nanny who he married 66 years ago. Yet, I understand that there is a time for everything. This week was the time for my Papa to go home. His work on earth was done and my heart smiles just imagining the paradise that awaited him. Thank You for orchestrating each step that my Nanny and Papa took towards You through the years. It will continue to be a source of inspiration throughout my life. I have often asked for Papa's guidance when studying Your word. He always had the words to help me understand how majestic You are! The memories are endless. I had the best Papa You could have ever blessed me with and I pray that you will help me to never forget his unwavering faith, in my times of need. My Papa is right, You are all I need.

Blessings

Matthew 5:16
In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.

I work with the most amazing teachers in the world and I couldn't ask for more. Through the good times and some bumpy times, we have stuck together in a way that just makes my heart smile. God has blessed our third grade team immensely over the past 5 years and this year more than ever I feel blessed by the women God has allowed me to work beside. Yes, we get irritated at one another and from time to time we may have a few cross words to say but we always come back to the place that makes us so unique... unity, compassion and integrity. We have gained a new friend, one that I happen to think stands out in the crowd because she is a true example of 'salt and light.'

She and I have worked in the same school for eight years but believe it or not, our conversations and interactions have been practically nonexistent. Of course we have talked and interacted but if I had known that she would bring such joy to our grade level, I would have tried to steal her away from her buddies a long time ago! :)

Reluctantly and at the last minute she was chosen to move to our grade level this year. Who could blame her for being reluctant...we know all too well the struggles of having to lose a teacher to another grade level. It is painful and scary. Even worse she had been working with the same group of people for many years that happen be her friends outside of school.

I imagine that she was unaware of the impact she might have on someone she had been working with for eight years. Sometimes we think that we are put in places for a reason and that God is using us to be a light for others in their time of need. In this season of my life, I believe God's 'behind the scenes' plan was for her to be a blessing in my life during my time of need. There is never a moment that she misses when someone is struggling with something, that she doesn't show up with a bible verse in hand and a piece of chocolate to remind you that God will take care of everything.
Yesterday was the anniversary of the death of her grandmother, a woman I am told had a hand in shaping who her granddaughter is today. If she were here today, I would tell her thank you. Thank you for teaching her granddaughter to be the kind of person that she is today...Who I believe she has always been but gone unnoticed because I didn't make the effort to get to know her for Dyon the person rather than Mrs. Duncan the teacher.

She may never read this or know that this post was even written about her but it was necessary. Few people in this world recognize those people who do for others without expecting recognition or payback. I wish that I had not been so wrapped up in my own struggles lately so that I would have remembered that yesterday was a day that she needed a bible verse and a piece of chocolate. She truly deserved it.

Whatever You Do, Do It For the Lord

Don’t laugh; but I have had several people ask for some “school house” words of encouragement. So I am going to try and find some for you and at the same time for me. I too am struggling with the lack of motivation to get ready for this school year. So hopefully with God’s help, we can all gain some perspective and get our "mojo" back.

It is August, time for school again and I wish I was a little more excited to hear the beautiful sounds of children running around playing and laughing. The excitement of a new school year has seemed to dwindle down to nothing more than stress, anxiety and dread. Make no mistake, I would not choose any other profession than being a teacher. I find so much joy in the children that fill my classroom year after year and I could never imagine having to give it up. Yet as each year comes and goes, the changes become more intense. My responsibilities can become overwhelming. I can convince myself that it is more than I am capable of handling at times. More and more rules and expectations are put into place and frankly, I spend more time thinking about the long list of things I must get finished instead of enjoying the small moments of seeing a child smile when they learn something new. I am determined to change that this year.

The 2012-2013 school year is going to be full of many challenges and along with that comes the uncertainty of how I will be able to effectively balance my career and my family while keeping my focus on "things above." I have been given the title of teacher but I must confess, I am just a student. A perfectionist by nature, change is difficult. I love things the way they are. I sit in the same seat in meetings with coworkers. I use the same pens to grade papers. I place my desks in the same pattern year after year. Yes, I can be a bit difficult when it comes to change; but I am willing. So this year I find myself having to embrace another change: Common Core Georgia Performance Standards. 

I am passionate about education and support changes that improve a student’s educational experience; but I am firm in my beliefs that the answers are much simpler than revamping the curriculum or enforcing more accountability. There is a missing link that continues to send the public school system into a bottomless pit. The struggle has become increasingly difficult to piece together a failing education system ever since we removed God from public schools. So politicians throw another “quick fix” into place. Regardless of my feelings, I am ready to learn all that I can about these new changes because in the end, the benefit is for my students. I have reason to be concerned however, that it is going to be a long and stressful year because of the ever increasing demands that accompany this new “quick fix.” As a loving and caring teacher, I fall into the trap of survival mode and I do whatever it takes to meet the demands placed on me by those who do not know the children that sit in my classroom. These children are not identified by a CRCT score or a passing grade by this teacher; just as my God does not identify me by my works. We are ALL identified as God's children and He needs to be at the center of ALL of our lives...the missing link indeed.

I am confident that the only thing needed in any of our lives is a relationship with Jesus. I know that while I cannot teach my students about Jesus and that He is the real teacher in my classroom, I can remind myself that “whatever I do, I need to do it for the Lord.” Maybe I cannot introduce Him to my students in the way that He should be; but my day to day actions will be just as effective. I will be the student and I will lean on God to give me the wisdom to know how to be the kind of teacher that each student needs and deserves. I will survive this school year.

      For those teachers that are where I am and have "lost that loving feeling" I have some words of wisdom from a mighty force (no not Tom Cruise), words that God placed in a handy dandy guide book that I will use as MY textbook each day before my students arrive at school. I hope that these words help you find your “mojo” and the encouragement that you need to begin this school year with a clean heart and open mind; as well as a smile on your face and a skip in your step. Those children that come through your door will certainly need to see it if you want them to see Jesus living inside you. Just because I cannot teach my students about Jesus does not mean that I cannot make Him visible in my day to day attitude/interaction with my students/coworkers/bosses/parents/etc. We are in this together and our God has already given us the Staff Handbook that trumps all others.  If you and I are willing to abide by the terms, God will bless this school year beyond our imagination. 

     

     1. Strive to be the best Christian possible. God called you to be a teacher. The Hebrew word for teacher is "Rabbi." They called Jesus "Rabbi." Just the word is breathtaking and God chose me for such a task as this that I might use my talent to teach children.  It was not by chance that you and I were placed at the very spot we are in. Understand that you are where you are for a reason. 

      2.   God's words tell us that we must be missionaries and "go into the world and share the good news." Well I have great news for you...if you are a teacher, you are a missionary. In fact, you have the power to inspire, love, and build some pretty amazing children just by allowing God to transform your focus. Yes it is tiring and sometimes frustrating but think of how patient God is with us day after day. We have breaks and our school year lasts no longer than 160-180 days a year. God has us 24 hours, 7 days a week and He never leaves our side...even when we are bad.       

      3. "Keep your thoughts captive and obedient to Christ." When we become disgruntled, discouraged and discontented, we become an easy target for Satan's evil schemes. We will have great days and there will be some that we will be glad are over; but it is important to take a deep breath and maybe even a few minutes to sit in silence seeking God. Maybe you need to have lunch in your room by yourself. That is okay from time to time. Just remember that when you do, seek God and ask Him to wrap His arm around your shoulder and His hand over your mouth so that the rest of the day does not end badly. This is something I will be doing daily. :) 

4. Bring a bible and/or devotional to keep at school (if you work with me and you need one or both, come see me and I will get you what you need) to keep at school and on your desk permanently.  I don’t encourage you to do this for any other reason but so that it is visible...especially to you.  A phone app won’t work...you will be too quick to respond to a text or play a quick game of Words with Friends. Plus out of sight; out of mind. By placing your bible on your desk (your personal area) you are placing God in your classroom. It is your right and a step in faith. When you need it, if it is handy...you will read it. It will give you the answers you need when you are struggling to hold it together at school. 

5. Respect your bosses. We may not agree with them or how they handle things; but my obligation to God also means that I work hard and avoid the "work room gossip". Remember that “our earthly authorities” are ordained God. You can be assured that God will hold them accountable for their leadership efforts; so we do not need to take it upon ourselves to bash the character or speak unkind words about those that God has allowed to lead us. When we fail to respect and obey our bosses then we are walking in disobedience to God.

      6. Pray daily and all day for your bosses, coworkers, students and their parents. Yes, even the most difficult ones. Pray that God will help you develop loving and caring relationships with everyone that you come in contact with. You need their support and they need yours. You never know what storms are raging in the lives of your students and their families so try to be understanding, forgiving and accepting. Trust me, you will not teach your students to be responsible in one year. It is a life-long process, so let them mess up and let them see what love and forgiveness looks like. Who cares if they forgot their homework a few times. There is usually a bigger reason for their forgetfulness. Remember the plate you carry as a teacher and how stressed you will get...let the little things go. Forgive those children and their "normal" tendencies to be irresponsible and forgetful. Thank you Jesus that you still forgive me over and over...I still haven't learned the art of responsibility and remembering all the things I am supposed to. 

      

      7.     Last but certainly not least, “Whatever you do, do it for the Lord.” Remember that you are the student, not the teacher.

 In his own words, Thomas Jefferson summed things up perfectly on June 26, 1822 in a letter he had written. He said, “Had the doctrines of Jesus been preached always as pure as they came from his lips, the whole civilized world would now have been Christian”. Since this did not happen, we must be disciples and go into the world (aka school) and share the good news, by showing those around us the characteristics of Jesus (btw...those characteristics are adjectives-a skill we must teach our students).

Good luck and may God be with you on your journey this year.