Request Fatigue

The title to this entry is not my idea. I read about it in an article that touched the deepest part of my soul. It is my symptom, my problem, my struggle, my stronghold. Before I even begin, I want to ask for forgiveness for those who read this because it is not my intent to hurt anyone. It is with the deepest love that I assure you that I intend to seek God's direction for my own struggles. This blog was created to give all the glory to God. My words are nothing without God leading the way. It is not one specific place or area that I am struggling with “request fatigue” but because I try to walk daily with God, I guess that is why I was so moved by this article. While the article references church, I feel that it works for any situation such as the workplace, family situations, friendships, etc.

It is my belief that people can expect too much. The expectation of one may not be the same expectation for another. This is another assuring statement that I am only speaking for myself. When people ask me to do too many things, I seek shelter in the most ridiculous places. I cry out to people that cannot fix things. Instead I should seek shelter in God's promises and cry only to Him. He can sustain me through the difficulties of life and renew my strength to face the next stronghold. God never expected me to say yes to everything. Loving God and keeping Him #1 in my life is my ultimate goal and I will faithfully follow Him all the days of my life. Those quick to judge or assume my intentions just have not taken the time to truly get to know who I am. Just maybe you can see things through my eyes long enough to understand me.

What I am facing...
Can you hear it? The sound of the circus act where the clown is trying to juggle the bowling pins. Now visualize the clown trying to juggle a pin for each of the areas of your life that seem to consume you...work, husband, kids, church, family, house cleaning, appointments, commitments, baseball, friends, bills. If you are like me, the pins are endless. All of a sudden, the clown becomes overwhelmed; gives up and the pins come crashing to the ground. The music stops. The crowd is in shock and silence fills the air. The clown does not know what to do...so he quickly tries to "save face" and grabs a few pins off the ground attempting once again to juggle. He realizes that he is unable to show his true talent. So he quits and walks off the stage discouraged and ashamed.

A little background may be useful here...I do not like clowns. No, that is way too nice...I HATE CLOWNS! They give me nightmares. I do not like them for many reasons but mostly because I do not like anything in disguise. I want to see the real you, without the costume or the make-up. I'm pretty good at reading people so I do not want to be misled by the outward appearances that clowns can paint on their faces.

Lately, I feel like a clown. I have been living the past few months with a smile painted on my face. With each passing day, I have to cake more make-up on to hide what I really look like. Discouraged, distracted, defeated, and searching for answers on how to turn things around. I know that God has all the answers, so I seek His unfailing direction to help me.

Those who know me, probably wish I was not so bold to tell it like it is but I am who I am. I respect it when people are honest and upfront with me. No matter how hard it may be for me to hear it; the value in being brutally honest with me is very important. I know how difficult this may be sometimes because while I want others to be brutally honest with me, I struggle to be that way with my closest friends and family members. I make excuses, sometimes I bend the truth so I do not hurt your feelings, and sometimes I just go along with you to make you feel okay. Yet inside my soul, I am saying to myself, “My words determine my character. Words have power, and what I say can impact others in a profound way”. Unfortunately, I was not given the gift of words.  I say things and in my heart I mean it to be kind but I come across like a jerk. One of my biggest obstacles in life has been to speak the truth in love and make sure my words line up with the Word of God. I'm still a work in progress.

The problem...
We all have a set amount of time to get things done. When we are asked to do something new, we typically feel pressed. So we say yes and we become busier. For a while, things may seem fine. We try to adjust to the changes while trying to hide the struggles that we might be facing, but eventually God reveals the truth for us and then we must face the reality that we are one step away from falling to pieces! The cause of this tension for me is usually my struggle to be honest with loved ones and the solution depends on whether I manage to do what is right for myself rather than what is right for everyone else.

What should not change is our heart’s commitment to God and our family. God empowers us in both, works through us in both, and He sanctifies us through both. If we do not believe this, then we are wasting our time. We should always be seeking God's direction when deciding how to balance everything. God doesn’t expect us to do so much that we leave little time to rest. So I am faced with some difficult choices. Paul said, "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well-fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

If you are like me, you feel alive when someone seeks your help. It is the affirmation that I sometimes need to feel worthy, trusted, and loved. To do for others not only expresses my love; but it also gives me comfort.  If I do something for another, it is my way of saying, "I love you and I am so glad I can help you." It is just that simple...or is it?

I love the feeling that someone trusts me enough to ask for my help but you can ask too much of people which brings me back to the article that I read today called, Request Fatigue. I think it addresses my issue. For what it is worth, I felt the need to discuss it. It offers hope for me as I try to move forward seeking God and continuing to do the many daunting tasks that I have committed to doing at work, church, with my family and friends and the other areas of my life. What touched me so deeply about this article was that it involves getting people to get involved by asking them to do less. I strongly support the views presented and think that it could make for a very promising approach to situations where change is needed. Here is the link to the article for those that might want to read it, http://danreiland.com/church/are-you-asking-for-too-much/.  As I was reading, I felt like I was moving down my own personal checklist of things I feel obligated to do rather than feeling honored to serve God in all opportunity that I  may be given.

So what did I learn today? Interestingly enough I learned that I should not be doing things unless it is for God. I should be honoring the One who matters. A wise woman once said, “When we serve our friends or family, our church or our community, we serve because He showed us how to serve first.  He notices.  He sees.  He smiles at our efforts, but more than that He delights in our heart attitudes as we give it all to Him.” I have also learned that if I’m not serving in an area with joy, it is possible God never intended me to be serving in that way. Sometimes I can accept a task that was never intended to be for me. He may not have chosen me to do it at all. In other words, not every "good" thing is necessarily a "God" thing. He may have meant that task for someone else. So I am focusing on my daily expectations and the expectations others have for me to see what I may need to change. It may be time to give up a few responsibilities or commitments. I am going to continue to pray for God’s wisdom and truth to be revealed remembering Paul’s advice to forget what is behind and strain toward what is ahead.

I love my life, my job, my friends and family, my church and my God. While I have some apparent issues that I must seek God for answers, I am so blessed and thankful for even the toughest of times. I can hear some of my closest friends now, "Are you talking about me?" My answer is no, I am talking about myself. I'm just trying to use my blog to give others the strength they may need to face the uncertainties of life in a way that is pleasing to God.